3 Reasons your past is holding you back.

Every single one of us has a past that contains various things like heartbreak, trauma and hurt. Imagine that each one is a rock that you have put in a backpack, now put that backpack on the front of your body and go and try hug someone important to you or shake the hand of a work colleague. That's your past getting in the way of connection and therefore your relationships, with family, friends, colleagues, strangers etc.

Here's 3 reasons why your past gets in the way and is holding you back.

1. Unaware.
You haven't yet uncovered the source of your wounding, the hurt, the betrayal. Whatever is activated when you feel triggered by someone or something. 
That's a clue to ask yourself "Why am I feeling triggered by this?" "When did I first feel this way" "Who was I with at the time?"

If you take a look over time you will see a pattern.

Very rarely is what triggered you about the present.

2. Unhealed Wounds.
You haven't allowed yourself or been willing to really dig out the wound once and for all and let it scar over. You keep putting band aids on it, hoping that one day the bleeding will stop and you will feel better or it will go away.

It does take being in the right space and time to do this work, sometimes decades after but the sooner you do, the sooner you can really heal the wounds of the past.

3. Not Let Go.

This one seems to be one of the biggest for most people. They just refuse, for whatever reason to let it go or let it be.

Here's the thing, whatever the event of the past, its done. It's over. It cannot be changed so you can choose to keep holding onto it or you can choose to let go or let it be.

I hope this resonates. If you would like to do some work on this, I invite you to book in a free 30min breakthrough session via the appointments page or simply email me to set something up.

Until next time

Coach Mel 

Who are you and what do you stand for, without the labels attached may seem a foreign concept to you, however if you have followed me for a while or worked with me, you will know that I go deep into this frequently.

This is not the blog post I had written for today, I was inspired after watching The Peanut Butter Falcon over the weekend.

I'm sure the writers had their own message that they wanted to convey with this film, but what I took away was the journey of Zak, a young man with Downs Syndrome and his journey to freedom. Freedom from the space he was in after being discarded and freedom from the stereotype of a person living with Downs. Sometimes it takes someone to show you that you are not the label, title or mask you were given or chose to take on.

On Zak's, journey he meets Tyler and this little exchange is what stuck with me. (Zak wants to be a pro wrestler, a hero)

"Tyler: That don’t make you a bad guy. Good guys get left too, Zak. Ain’t about no silly laugh or wearing black and eye shadow and shit, ain't nothing to do with that. Has to do with what’s in here, in your heart. You got a good guy heart, you can’t do shit about that. You’re a hero
Zak: I can't be a hero because I am a - Down Syndrome.
Tyler: What’s that got to do with your heart? Who told you that?

So I ask you now, in keeping with the metaphor, What does the label you have, the one you are living by, have to do with who you are in your heart and soul? What does it have to do with what you can and cannot do?

Who in your life is telling that you are or aren't, that you can or can't?

If they are not saying it in their words, are they saying it in their actions towards you?

Let me give you an example, I am not your saviour, your guru or your rescuer because if I was, it would make you a victim and incapable which I know is a load of crap. As a coach, when I'm working with clients they are my equal in need of up skilling and accountability.

As you move through your week, sit with this and really take a look within. Ask yourself these questions.

Do I like me?

Am I being myself or what other want me to be or expect me to be?

How do people treat me?

Do I believe them?

Who am I if I take those labels and expectations away?

What do I stand for?

Let me know what comes up for you.

Join the conversation below or via socials on IG and FB.

Until next week.

Coach Mel