Are you ready to slow down? If not, well, that’s kinda too bad. You are being invited to pause. To hit the RESET button.
Weird time isn’t it? Understatement of the century Steph!
I read the following this week and, as it perfectly captured my thoughts, I wanted to share it here:
“Few of us ever imagined a situation as pervasive and scary as the Coronavirus pandemic, but I have hope that we can turn this crisis into a unique opportunity for our children and for us to build the special kind of resilience that comes from facing adversity. Crises like this one give our innate emotional survival skills the chance to grow stronger.”
Many of you, like myself and Coach Mel, are currently in the near impossible situation of having to work from home, homeschool our children, manage our dwindling finances and run a household. Many of us also make room to check in with our elders, siblings, friends AND search the continent for toilet paper stocks! I am sure stress levels across the globe are at an all time high.
But… what if we could view this time in a different light. As the quote above muses, what if this time was given to us a unique gift, an opportunity to drop down, to reconnect the the important things in our lives, the time to change the things in our lives we seem to never have enough time for. We have time now.
But… you might be scared. You might be fearful of what is to come; because you can’t see it/hear it/taste it, you don’t know what the new normal will be or when it is going to start. The finances might start becoming so low you are not sure how you will keep afloat.
You want desperately to adapt to this new way of life, to embrace this time as an opportunity to move your life in a new direction, but perhaps you are unsure how.
I get it. This was me. All of it and on some days right now it still is. None of us are getting it all “right” (whatever that is) but at the same time we are getting it as right as we can RIGHT NOW.
About a year ago I decided to jump off the very fast-moving treadmill I found myself on. I had my blinkers on, head down, churning-it-out and I had no idea when a pause in my life might come. I was in full-blown survival mode. Two very young kids, working a busy full-time job and my marriage and friendships were taking a backseat. I was completely stuck in a rut. I went to some dark places emotionally. I was asleep at the wheel of my life, being carried along by the tide.
Actually - when I say I decided to jump off the fast-moving treadmill what I actually mean is that I was kinda pushed off. A steady work contract I had for many years came to an unexpected end and wasn't prepared, I had blinkers on and just didn’t see it coming. It forced me to pause. It asked me to rediscover where I wanted to spend my energy.
This time of pause came not long after I read a book that changed how I chose how to live from that day forward. You might say the book and the job-loss came hand-in-hand to teach me something. It was certainly not an over-night change, it is very much still evolving but the book, Slow - Live life simply, started with this line:
"Dear Mr & Mrs Jones, I am writing to inform you of my withdrawal from the race to keep up with you . . ."
WHA? Really? It’s that simple. Hallelujah, I thought! It had me hooked, so I read on.
Throughout the book, the author Brooke McAlary encouraged me to find “out what the most important thing in your life is and put that at the centre of your life everyday”.
Great, Yep, super easy. Um, yeah, I had NO IDEA how to do that. I needed a plan. I actually needed a coach...but I only learned that later.
The plan came later in the book when Ms McAlary describes the exercise she undertook where she wrote her own eulogy - the words she hoped her children would say about her after she died. It sounds morbid but stay with me. What she penned were three lines where the essence of who she always wanted to be shone through and none of it included power, money or material things.
At that stage I wasn’t living like the person for which I wanted to be remembered. My kids probably didn't even like me; I didn’t like me so why would my friends, husband or colleagues? There was ZERO joy. Everything was a pain in my ass.
What shifted? My mindset. Then EVERYTHING. As the saying goes, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.
I have discovered that my purpose is to support people to redesign a vision for their future, to hold their hands through the bumpy bits, encourage them to greatness and to keep them moving closer to their desires, one-small-step-at-a-time. It might seem simplistic to some but it is actually a skill. One that we are not innately taught. You have to learn it; sadly it doesn't always come naturally to people.
But that’s what coaching is, it’s helping you strategise and redesign your future, it's not mentoring (I don’t need to have done what you want to do) or counselling (my advice won’t “fix you” - because you don’t need fixing). Coaching is game planning. It’s getting you in the zone to plan the game the best you can. Do you have a plan? It’s a friggin big question. But if you answer it and plan for it; realised hopes and dreams can be a result.
The time of pause is a great chance to get game-ready. Think of it like the off-season.
If you want to get ready for your next chapter I am keen to hear from you. I am currently offering FREE 30 min introduction strategy sessions - happy to chat, ZERO obligations. I’m keen to hear your thoughts.
CLICK HERE to set up a time to chat via Zoom. If the appointment times don’t suit you - email me - firstname.lastname@example.org - happy to find a time that works for your schedule.
Big love, remember - you're here to sparkle
Order Slow, Life Life Simply by Brooke McAlary from Booktopia
I have been musing on the words, Accept and Surrender, over the past few weeks as I comprehend our collective ‘new normal’. For many people, the stillness that the corona virus has brought to our lives has been both unnerving and triggering.
Acceptance of the current ‘what is’ can be challenging when you wish the circumstance you are in was different.
Surrendering to your lack of control in a situation like this can feel unnatural and uncomfortable.
During times of crisis, people who have learned how to be resilient in the face of adversity, thrive.
The people who simply survive are those who resist the ‘what is’ that has been thrust their way; they often ‘grin and bear it’ ungraciously.
Some people allow fear, scarcity and paranoia to take over their mind, body and spirit.
Which category do you fit into? Are you in one camp but wish you were in the other? Are you a survivor and wish you were a thriver? If so, you might need to readjust your mindset about this whole, crazy new time we find ourselves in. Our. It’s collective.
Mel and I want to make this current time of crazy just that little but easier for people so we are running online workshops working through her signature program The Ritual of Change™ which outlines and deep dive into the nine separate phases in the process of change.
In the online workshop we break down, into bite-size bits of understanding, what happens for you when change comes knocking unexpectedly or when you’ve discovered that you are seeking a change in your life.
Every time we encounter change, whether it is forced or intentional, we have to pass through these very specific nine phases to come out successfully on the other side.
Not surprisingly one of the most important early phases is acceptance. Acceptance of ‘what is’.
If you’d like to explore further where you are and how you can change being in survivor to a thriver we’d love you to join us.